Almost Halfway!! March 27, 2009

Yep, that’s right. I’m slowly, but surely, getting closer and closer to the halfway point of my pregnancy. It’s really an exciting time for Alex and I. Last week we had our final ultrasound appointment. The baby looked fabulous; everything was functioning as it should. And we found out that we’ll be welcoming an absolutely adorable (they did the 3D ultrasound…and man can you see everything!) baby…..GIRL!! I about started crying as I reached around trying to find my husband’s hand while still continuing to look at my little one on the screen. Of course…Alex (Mr. No emotion) stood there and looked at the monitor seemingly unimpressed with our news. He later started joking that the baby was lacking the essential “parts”…but by the end of the night I knew he was thrilled to be having a baby girl. Even if he doesn’t know it yet…this little girl is going to have him wrapped around her little finger.

 

I waited so long to post on the sex of the baby because I wanted to make sure that all of the family heard the news before I made it public. Actually…I had quite an interesting time attempting to tell my family the news. I knew my mom absolutely needed to be the first person to find out…so I called her phone (we had discussed in advance the approximate time I would be calling) twice…and finally decided I would try my little sister’s cell phone. Well, my little sister just recently got a cell phone (she’s only 11…and it’s for emergencies only. I’m pretty sure telling my family we were having a girl counted as an emergency!), and apparently I didn’t save her number in my cell phone. So I dialed what I believed was my little sister’s number. Yeah, I’m guessing you can see where this is going. I called the wrong number…and got someone completely different. But, the really amazing thing is…I knew the person I dialed. It was actually a family friend that I hadn’t talked to in years! It was so strange! Come to find out she had been thinking about my family and me last week and wondered how we had been doing. So everything just fell into place and we were able to catch up. Of course, once she found out why I had been trying to get in touch with Mom she told me to “Hang up and call your mother! And then call me back!” It made the day so special to be able to share it with a family friend!

 

Back to my family…My mom was thrilled! In fact I think she make have squealed /shrieked in the background. My dad was pretty excited…but he was primarily thrilled because for years I’ve heard my dad say that he hopes I have a little girl just like me. Unfortunately for him…our little girl seems quite laid back. In her 3D ultrasound she had one arm tucked back behind her head and seemed to be relaxing…with the exception of her feet, which were all over the place!

 

And speaking of being all over the place…I’ve been feeling her move around almost every night for the past week and a half. I first felt her move on March 6^th, and I keep hoping that she’ll eventually get strong enough so Alex can feel her. However, it’s almost like she knows when he’s trying to feel her and she completely stops moving. It’s always right as he tucks me in, says goodnight and shuts the door…and then she’s all over the place! Poor Alex…I think he’s really disappointed that he hasn’t been able to feel her yet. I keep telling him it may be a couple weeks, but I’d love for him to be able to feel her now.

 

Alright…before I continue on and on until I’ve written a small novel, I should probably get back to day dreaming about my little girl. But I’ll give you one more little treat, and let you know what we’ve decided to name our little one: Sophia Nichole. I loved the name Sophia, and Nichole is my best friend’s middle name. She also planning on using my middle name when she has a little girl…so it’s nice that we can “trade” names!

Dreams and Consequences March 18, 2009

So lately I’ve been having crazy dreams…about all kinds of things…but lately the reoccurring theme seems to be the ability to breastfeed, or actually, the inability to breastfeed. I keep having dreams where I know the baby is hungry, or I realize that I haven’t feed the baby in days…and then in the dream I realize that my milk hasn’t come in and I can’t feed my baby.

Well apparently that might not be an issue after this little one is born because now I’m leaking. I about freaked out Sunday night when I realized what was going on. Actually…I freaked out enough that I couldn’t go to sleep for a bit and I called my mom the next day. Mom just laughed and said it’s probably fine; so much for all of my crazy dreams.

Anyway…on to the real reason I’m posting today. I need to keep my mind off of the clock. We have our ultrasound appointment today at 4:00 and I can’t wait to see the little one again! I’m so excited!! Hopefully we’ll soon be purchasing little gender specific clothing (nothing against gender neutral clothing…but nothing says baby like purchasing something gender specific)…and finally getting serious about registering. Only three hours to go, luckily I’ll be in a meeting for two of those…so the third hour should fly by!

Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow or Friday to let you know the results!!

Dreams… February 27, 2009

Woah! Holy Cow! The crazy dreams have finally started.

Seriously…I had several back to back last night. I woke in one of those WTF?!?!? moments.

The first dream really wasn’t too bad…but it was still messed up. I was out shopping at the mall with several of my friends from home…and for some reason..right in the middle of the mall there was a Kroger. Apparently this wasn’t just any Kroger. This Kroger had a Hair Salon, a Spa area, and of course a doctor’s office (because grocery shopping/doctor’s visits go hand in hand, right?). So anyway, I made my way into Kroger b/c I knew I had my ultrasound appointment there. I went in (by myself…I have no idea where my husband was in this whole scenario) and came out maybe 20-30 minutes later knowing that I was having a little boy. I then met up with all of my friends and showed everyone the pictures and told them it was a boy….That was pretty much the end of that dream.

On to the next dream…Flash-forward several months. Apparently I had the baby a little early…or something. But I don’t remember any of the birth. All I know is that in the dream I’m waking up and realizing that I’m at my parent’s house. I freak out and realize that it’s the middle of the week and I’m missing work. So I’m quickly trying to get dressed and get ready to head out the door when I realize that my mom is trying to pass the baby to me. She had to sit me down and explain that my boss would understand why I’m not at work since I had the baby the day before.

I calmed down a bit and realized that my mom was probably right…but then I started to freak out again b/c I realized that I had never fed the baby…and that it must be starving! I had this flashback to the hospital and remember that they kept telling me not to feed they baby while I was there…and I was so mad about my experience at the hospital.

It essentially was one messed up dream. It was really strange too b/c I didn’t have anything ready for the baby. We didn’t have a crib, actually we put a couple blankets in an empty drawer and put the baby in there (I completely blame a post I read earlier this week on Jen’s page (I would add a link here…but apparently my work computer is blocking that option)).

So yeah, I woke up so confused this morning. And even more confused since I felt like I had already told everyone we were having a boy and in the second dream I’m pretty sure that it was a little girl.  I guess we’ll find out for sure March 18th!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Second Trimester Already? February 25, 2009

So, I’m about a week behind on this post….but better late than never right?

Today I am one day over the 15 week mark. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long already. I’m finally starting to show a little bit and relying more and more on those not so fashionable, but super comfy maternity pants. I’m seriously considering never going back to pant with buttons. But who knows…someday I may want to get back into the buttoned pant wearing crowd.

Anyway, I’m been really really bad at posting lately. So, I’ll catch up in what’s been going on in my life.

1) I got a new job!  Well…it’s technically a new job..but it’s still within my current company. I found out about the job almost two weeks ago. And then I start my part time days (half in each department) this week. So I’ve got two week of part time and then finally March 9th I transition to my new position. I’m seriously excited about the new position!

Let’s see…We’ve also had another appointment since my last post. It wasn’t terribly exciting. Actually..it was almost more of a disappointment. The practice I’m at has 5 doctors that you rotate through. I met doctor C. at my last appointment. He seemed like a very nice person…but seriously…my appointment probably lasted all of 5 minutes. I had a couple questions for him..but I ended up feeling like he had blown me off. So I left more frustrated than I had been before I walked in for the appointment.

In other pregnancy related news. I am finally awake! Finally! I haven’t been this awake since Thanksgiving. And for the most part, my appetite has come back. The only problem is now I’m awake and can’t get myself to fall asleep and I’m constantly hungry. Oh, and to top those off..I’ve welcomed the heartburn and migraines! Yay!

Alex is finally coming around and being much more supportive of the pregnancy. I bought him the Expectant Father for Valentine’s day and since then he’s been reading a little each night and telling me all about it. It’s actually really cute. He even started reading into the kinds of foods I should be eating. So he’s been taking over much of the cooking.

I’m a slacker… February 2, 2009

Hi Internet people! I’ve been hiding…on my couch..or on my bed…or really anywhere that might be comfortable to sleep. Seriously! If I would let myself..I could probably sleep for 14+ hours…get up for a couple..and then take a nap again. Apparently this thing called “work” means I can’t have my way. But I’m adjusting…slowly. I’m hoping everyone’s prediction will come true and here in a couple weeks I’ll start getting some of my energy back.

In good news…my morning sickness…um..wait…my all-day sickness…isn’t quite as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Sure, I’ve still got my moments where nothing but applesauce or frozen strawberry bars sound good (seriously…frozen strawberry bars = amazing!!). But I’m at least trying to eat at least one normal meal a day, instead of the steady stream of smoothies I ate for the first two months.

And speaking of months (or in this case…weeks), tomorrow marks 12 weeks! I can’t believe it’s been that long already! I’ve already had to move into some maternity pants. In fact..I had to plan a special shopping trip this weekend to go purchase the said pants. Holy cow! are these things comfortable! not exactly stylish…but boy do I feel like I could take a nap in them!

Oh, and an update on those ultrasound pictures I said I’d post weeks ago…We’re taking a trip up to see my parents and a few friends this weekend and I’d like to show my family the pictures before I post them for the world to see. Don’t worry though..I’ll post my blurry, but still cute little blob photos sometime soon!

Alright…I’m back from the Holidays! January 5, 2009

See..I said I’d be back! I almost feel like I should divide all I have to say into two separate posts…but we’ll see how this goes. We’ll start with Christmas.

For Christmas we decided to see both sets of parent’s. So we got everything all loaded up in the car on the 23rd, and got ready to head north. In theory…everything should have been great. I got home early from work and had myself and the dog’s stuff all packed, and even had the car loaded before Alex got home. He even got home earlier than expected and we were able to get a head start on our three hour drive. Yeah, notice the “three hour” drive. It ended up taking us three hours to get out of the county (the county line is maybe 15 miles from our house…we were seriously moving at about a 3mph pace). What should have been a three hour drive turned into a six and a half hour drive. Not exactly the most pleasant thing I’ve ever done.

Anyway, flash forward from the trip. We get up to my parent’s house and crash (since clearly everyone was already asleep there at 1am). The next morning (Christmas Eve) I get up and help Mom get everything together for little get-together we were having that evening. That was the absolute worst! I desperately wanted to sit my mom down and tell her everything. But I somehow managed to keep my mouth shut! In fact…I did such a good job…and my mom was so surprised….she didn’t understand what I was trying to tell her!

Now, I’ve kind of gotten ahead of myself. We have a family tradition of sorts…where we get together with my grandparent’s and have dinner, decorate cookies, read the christmas story and the night before christmas, and then once all is said and done, we each open one gift. When we were little Mom would try to do themed presents on Christmas Eve. There were several years where we each opened up a pair of pajamas to wear that night. Anyway, I had my mom her gift (I had wrapped up three receiving blankets)..and tell her that she’ll need them later. She rips open the paper and the box and stares at the blankets for a bit. I guess in her mind I had continued the tradition and bought her pajamas. Although she told me later she was confused as to why I bought her a three piece set..and why one of the pieces looked a little babyish. Anyway, we’re sitting there waiting for Mom to figure out what we’re trying to tell her…and she’s got one blanket completely unfolded and is flipping it back and forth so she can look at both sides…and I finally tell her that she’s going to need them in August. Well, right about that time it hit her..and Mom started crying and asked if she was going to be a grandma! We told her yes, and explained how hard it was to keep the secret from her.  Everyone else at my parent’s house was thrilled…we had a small incident with Grandma…but have chalked it up to old age and her willingness to say anything…even if it’s not entirely thruthfull.

Anyway, fast forward again, only this time we’re at Alex’s parent’s house. We decided to open gifts as soon as we got there on the 26th. We didn’t officially plan anything for his parents. I had asked him ahead of time if he wanted me to wrap something for them to open…but he said that was a dumb idea…and didn’t want to do anything special for his parents (he’s not very exiciting!). Anyway, at his parent’s house we pick someone to start and they pick a gift a take it to it’s recipient. Then that person opens their gift and then picks a present for someone else…and so on. Well, Alex and I had given out all of our gifts, so for our finally gift to give I announced that my mother in-law was going to be a grandma! Her eyes got so big..and she and my father in-law were both thrilled. Even my sister in-law was excited (trust me…I was shocked on this one!). In fact, the only semi nasty thing she said about it was something about how fat I was going to get. I figured I’d take that comment…it wasn’t as bad as I had expected from her. However..I did realize at his parent’s house..that they will be the set of parents who will say something every step of the way. They will always have a better way to do things. I’m slowly working on accepting this, and letting things roll off…but it’s going to be a long road

Anyway, over all we had a great Christmas and our families loved the surprise!

Now..on to  New Year’s. I’m going to keep this part quick….or at least try!

We got together with a bunch of our friends for New Year’s…and it was actually really fun because we had finally told everyone our news and we were all so happy. Well, I’m sitting around with a bunch of the girls and it realize that I missed a call from a friend that I had invited to the party (she doesn’t know the host well, so I asked him, and invited her and her fiance to the party). Anyway, I listen to her message and she tells me that they’re going to be late, they’re still coming, they don’t know when we’re planning on leaving, but they plan on taking advantage of my child-bearing state, and get a ride home. WAIT! What? Backup a second…Seriously? Is this sort of thing okay with people out there? b/c I was seriously outraged! I briefly discussed this with my husband and my good friend sitting next to me…and said that 1) b/c we had my little sister with us..I didn’t want to tote around drunk people (these are the kind of people who drink to get drunk and once they’re drunk..they argue constantly) and 2) Even if my sister wasn’t with us…I am not a taxi service for people who can’t control their drinking (A little harsh? maybe…was I being completely honest? yep). Anyway, the two show up to the party..and apparently can’t be bothered to talk to me. So..I assumed that they didn’t need that ride anymore. They never did come talk to me about it..so they must have been watching what they were drinking. Yeah…apparently I thought wrong. I went to round up my sister and my husband when the fiance stopped me and said they were coming with us. Of course , I shot back with a comment something like: “I was never told that you were coming with us. I hadn’t planned on taking anyone home.” Those comments apparently didn’t matter..b/c 10 minutes later (nevermind I’ve been on the brink of completely vomitting everywhere from this evil thing the call “morning” sickness that really lasts all day!)…they’re in the back seat of my car…arguing. Great! Just what I had been trying to avoid.

So yeah, I gave them a ride home. And I guess looking back I probably should have just let them get out of the car…but I didn’t. Instead I said something along the lines of : “Don’t ever do this again. Don’t think that just b/c I’m pregnant you can “take advantage” of my situation and get a ride home. I think what you’ve done was really rude and I’m incredibly offended.” Yeah, apparently that didn’t go over very well…b/c my car door got slammed shut harder than it’s ever been shut in it’s life…and I ended up getting some pretty nasty calls from her once we got back to our house. The first call I picked up she was screaming at me..so I might have hung up the phone. The second call..I didn’t answer..and she left another screaming voicemail on my phone telling me what a horrible friend I was b/c I wouldn’t take two friends home on New Year’s and oh, by the way…being pregnant isn’t an excuse for being a bitch.

I don’t know if any of you have had to deal with evil friends like this…but seriously..what do I do now?  And really..should people have more tact? I would have understood if she had at least asked me..or maybe even talked to me at the party…

I did find out later that my husband had okay’d all of this with them. Which started yet another fight in our household…since I specifically told him I did not want them riding with us.  He thinks I was completely out of line…and I feel like I was taken advantage of…

What do you guys think?

two little lines December 19, 2008

yep, that’s right. I’ve officially seen two little lines on those home tests. You know, the ones that I never in a million years thought would show that we’ve actually succeeded?

I didn’t believe my eyes (or the four tests I took), so I finally called my doctor’s office and set up an appoinment.

I went in this past Monday…and suprise! Someone else sees those lines too! So needless to say, I’m currently 5w3d…and my EDD is August 18th, 2009!

Suprisingly, I’ve been able to hold off on telling our families. I’m secretly holding out for Christmas Eve I can’t wait to tell my Mom! It’s been so hard not calling her.

Anyway, Things will probably be pretty quite around here until after the holidays. I know we’ll be out of town for most of it. But don’t worry, I’ll be back after the holidays, and maybe after my first exam (complete with ultrasound pictures!).

Have a wonderful Holiday!

so I’m a little nervous…it’s normal right? November 19, 2008

Alright, so finally, after months of pleading for the opportunity to have children…we may finally be taking that step. Back in March I was devastated that I lost the baby, and it only amplified my desire to have children.

Alex, however, wasn’t ready back in March, but agreed that we could start trying in January of 2009. Well, I did some re-calculating and decided that in order for this to best work out for my job, we should ideally have the baby by the end of September next year…which puts us trying to concieve..oh..right about now.  So, I figured we’re really only adding on one more cycle..surely Alex won’t freak out too much. Yeah, apparently I was dead wrong on that one. It’s been nothing but awkward for the last few days. He feels like he’s being pushed, I feel like he’s not taking me into consideration at all…and essentially all of this is making me miserable. I wish he could want this as much as I do. I wish he could realize what a great dad he’ll be. I wish he would stop worrying about paying the house off tomorrow and start realizing that very few people have everything paid off when they start having children. and most off all..I wish I could be happy waiting a few months, or a year longer, so he doesn’t feel like I’m pressuring him. I want this to be a happy time in our lives, and right now he’s only able to point out how “horrible” things would be if we had a child now.

I understand that he’s just thinking of our family, and that he wants to make sure that we have everything covered…but sometimes I wish he could just put all of it aside (I realize that he may want me to put all of my thoughts aside too). I also think he’s just a little bit scared of the idea of becoming a parent. Which, really I don’t blame him…I’m the one that really wants to have children, but I’m terrified of being a parent. Well, okay, not terrified, but I am nervous. There’s not an owner’s manual on how to take care of children. There’s not really a wrong or right way on most things.

At this point I just keep hoping that he’s able to calm down and decide if this is something he thinks he can handle right now. I don’t want to push my husband into have children with me…but I also don’t want to plan everything based on his time frame. Either way, for now I am off of my pills(yes, he knows I stopped taking them)…and we’ll see where things go.

Halloween and then some… November 3, 2008

Good Afternoon Internet! I can’t believe it’s November already. It seems like it was just yesterday when we were camping in Brown County. But it’s been almost three months. I feel as though we were robbed of fall this year. It’s not that the weather wasn’t fabulous, because it was. It’s just that we have been far too busy to enjoy it. No evening strolls with the dog, no raking leaves and drinking hot cider.

We decided to slow things down a little this weekend. Usually we spend our Halloween weekends dressed up and slightly intoxicated. This year was quite a different story. We spent the night passing out goodies to Trick or Treaters and ooh and ahhing over the little kids and their costumes, and then finally settling down on the couch with some classic horror films.

The night, however, didn’t start off as nice as it sounds. Instead we kicked off our Halloween night with a trip to my physical therapist. Alex actually was able to go with me on Friday, since it was his day off. It was so nice that he was able to hear what the therapist had to say. (It’s not that he doesn’t understand that I’m in pain…but it’s more that he can’t comprehend that there are some things I shouldn’t be doing, or that I just physically can’t do.) The appointment itself wasn’t completely horrible. I had a different therapist this time (Sonya, and I think I’ll be trying to stay on her schedule). She seemed like she really knew what she was talking about, and she was more than willing to work with me on my exercises a bit.

The real kicker of the appointment..was more like a punch in the stomach. We were talking about my workouts (they’re apparently restricted now to light workouts, maybe even cutting out my weekly pilates) and she mentioned that it’s not going to be a realistic goal for me to start running again. I’m sure I looked devastated, because she said she felt as if she had just killed all of my dreams and hopes for the future. I guess, looking back now, I really did feel that way. I’ve had a goal of completing my first 5k (I know..not a huge goal..but it would be huge for me considering I’m not really a runner) for about a year now. I had to stop training in August when I hurt my back, but I’ve been looking forward to getting back out there again. Unfortunately, running seems to trigger my back spasms. So, like my therapist said, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for me to keep up with the running. But now my workout have been restricted and I can’t run..so I’m a little down. I’ve been trying to lose some weight since January and have been a regular at the gym since them. It’s really hard for me not to head into the gym after a hard day at work, and it’s frustrating because I have been trying to lose weight. It’s also frustrating because I’ve been working so hard and I feel like I’ve completely failed. The exercises I’ve been working on are horrible. I’m lucky to do one set of 10, let alone the other 4 sets I’m supposed to be doing.

Needless to say, by the time we were leaving the office I was almost in tears…and then to top it off… Alex gets in the car and starts commenting about how he told me my core muscles were weak and how I haven’t done much in the gym. I couldn’t help myself..I just started crying uncontrollably…and this didn’t last just a couple minutes. I mean..I cried the entire way home, and then went straight to bed and cried until the doorbell rang at least an hour later. Of course the joke was on me…because I looked horrible as all of the neighborhood kids came by for Trick or Treating.

The rest of the night ended up much better than it started out…but boy are my abs sore from all of my exercises!

It’s the middle of October already? October 16, 2008

Okay, so it’s been a couple weeks since I’ve posted anything. I have a good reason though; well, at least I’m going to tell myself that my reason is justafiable. I’ve had a few issues these past couple weeks. Work has been completely horrible…I mean, completely, horribly, miserable days at work. I’ve seriously contemplated walking out. Instead I’ve been slowly pulling myself away and avoiding computers (seriously, when you sit in front of one for 8+ hours a day, you really have no desire to spend free tiem in front of a computer).

Anyway, it’s been almost three weeks since the “incident” at work…but here’s the short version. I was verbally attacked in my office at work. Many co-workers and managers heard or saw the encounter. I remained clam and asked that we continue the conversation at another time when the individual had calmed down, and suggested that perhaps we find a mediator. After being yelled at I spoke with my manager, who later told me that I had created an environment where it was acceptable for another employee to yell at me…and, that because of my actions I apparently don’t communicate effectively. Seriously, I was confused too.

Actually, I was furious! And to make matters worse, my manager also brought one of the by-standers intot he scenario and told them it was their fault too. This by-stander happened to be one of my best friends, and unfortunately she submitted her two-week notice the same day (and within a few hours was asked to leave the premises). She had had enough of our management team and their responses to employee behavior. Since her departure I’ve not really known what to do. I don’t trust my managers and I feel threatened in my current location. I don’t know if the employee will attmept anything again, but what if they do? Clearly management won’t do anything about it.

Needless to say, I’ve been considering my options and looking at a few companies in the area. The whole scenario has really put a damper on what should have been a fabulous month.

In other happenings, Alex and I finally went to see Sweeney Todd at IU. It was awesome! We headed over to campus a little before the show and walked around a bit. Finally, we headed over to the Auditorium where some guy stopped us and asked if we had tickets. We looked over at him, but continued walking thinking he was trying to sell us tickets. Actually, we found out he was an Auditorium employee and wanted to know if we wanted to swap our balcony tickets for two tickets to the orchestra pit! It was an awesome anniversay celebration, from our new seats you could see everything! It was a great show!

We’ve also been hit by weddings this month. So far we’ve attended two, and we’ve got one more to go. It’s been really great getting to see all of our friends and family though! The weddings have been absolutely beautiful (Congrats guys!).

Maybe if I think about it later I’ll update with a few pictures from the weddings, and maybe a few from our latest project…our fence. Yep, we’re putting a fence up in our backyard. And are we the kind of people that pay contractors to build fences? Hell no, my husband is way too cheap for that kind of stuff. Instead, we apparently are the do-it-yourself kind of people, slowly but surely building up our skills. But hey, everyone has to have skills right? Like fence building skills, bow hunting skills, you know.

Hope everyone has had a fabulous October so far!